"Open Letter to the Women on Tinder" by Christopher Fox Graham

(a poem I wrote for a feature at Juniper House to subtly announce Laura and I were having a baby) 
 

Maddy, 21, Northern Arizona University while I find your pink hair punky and cute and your nose piercing a subtle rebellion against your Baptist upbringing that I would certainly encourage ... perhaps too far ... until your arms were awash in a “Fuck Jesus” tattooed sleeve we will show off to your parents at Thanksgiving

I must regretfully inform you

that as it happens, there is a redheaded woman

who has captured my interest

thus henceforth,

I will be unavailable to foster your personal experimentation

Kase, 34, UCLA I noticed that you opt to spell K-A-S-E, sans accent mark, thus I appreciate your sense of brevity  and getting to the point even in neglecting the apostrophe in “I’m”  to save yourself a keystroke,

yet, it is my sad duty to report

that we will never clip sentences together,

as there happens to be woman in my life

of even shorter contextualization

who can speak volumes with a glance

hint with an eyebrow,

that today, of all Tuesdays,

there may be no panties beneath her skirt

and with a wink, 

invite me to wonder about that all afternoon

Sommer, 21, Northern Arizona University I could have toyed with your name had met in the summer but you spell it with an “O,” which is no season your yoga backbend is impressive and must have taken months to perfect, let alone set up the camera,

but with sorrow,

which I also choose to spell with an “O”

that the woman who now shares my bed

can arch her back nearly as far,

but does so not to demonstrate impressive flexibility

but rather quite involuntarily

when I am in the picture

but my face out of frame

obscured by her thighs

but I will let slip that her toes curl

in much the same fashion

Mary, 25, no university listed your come-hither looks will certainly draw the eyes of the lover you seek, though it is with some sadness  that I have seen your photos before under a different name and I have reason to believe  you may be a Russian hacker attempting to steal my credit card number

that being said,

it is with some quiet joy that I must reveal

a woman with the same come-hither glance

can do so without a hint of deception

she can strip the secrecy from my tongue

and I have been unable to conjure any falsehoods in her arms

Heather, 30, Maricopa Community College I must admit it was hard to get a look at you because you were always slightly out of frame so I had to puzzle-piece your face together you should not fear the camera, not with that kind smile,

but alas, I will be unable to help improve your photography skills

as there is a woman who currently eats up all my photo card memory

leaving me little room for anyone else

Laura, 26, Purdue Your inviting smile sitting on the edge of the bed is coy, while still innocent I’m certain your conversation would be equally enticing

but I, unfortunately, will never know,

as I have found a woman,

coincidently with your name

to whisper such conflictions into my ears

but, like you, she is a mother,

or at least soon will be

and I wonder if I love our child as you must love yours

I feel I must add at this junction that I will be deleting this app

as it no longer serve a purpose,

except to serve as the prompt for a poem